Mastery: A Manual for Recovery

“…be
quiet still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to
be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your
feet.”

~Franz
Kafka

After years of professional counseling in
eating disorders, I have come to believe the true “disorder” is one of a
deep, personal nature within oneself ~ one that employs food,
absence of food and/or control of food as a “medium,” somewhat in the
way an artist chooses a canvas. The designer then creates an exterior
representation of an inner angst: an unmet need, an emotional pain, a
confinement ~ perhaps an imprisonment or a genius ~ that demands
expression.

If a disorder were to be viewed as an art form, then
mastery of this art form is a reasonable goal and an achievement to
explore and understand. What might happen if a person chose to “master”
healing and walked the path of true masters? What is this path? Do we
recognize it and begin the journey? Or do we ~ as the poet Antonio
Machado says ~ “make the path by walking”?

Perhaps mastery
encompasses both: trusting ourselves and taking the courageous
step of beginning the journey, creating the path ~ by walking. The
following is offered as a guide, a “manual” for mastering healing,
designed to be changed by the walker. This collection of components is
simply an idea ~ yet one designed and created from years of walking many
paths, all leading to now.

The Master’s Journey: what defines
it?

Trust: First and foremost, mastery requires trust. It is
essential to trust the process, the path of learning ~ being a constant
student, the teacher being anywhere or anyone. To refine a skill, the
path may not be straight. Rather, ups and downs are to be expected by
all masters. Embrace them all.

Immersion: It is not enough to
write about or talk about mastery. The true master is immersed in the
journey and has abandoned mediocrity. This is a calling for a select
few. Be one of those few and dive in. Accept each moment of the journey,
the magnificent as well as the mundane. And remember: all moments are
truly neither ~ only moments. Suspend judgment and keep
walking.

Commitment: Mastery commands a personal patience, an
acceptance of impermanence. Nothing stays the same. Trusting emergence
and being patient with the pace is essential. A true master of healing
welcomes each experience as learning and doesn’t allow the unexpected
(which happens all the time!) to deter or
discourage.

Reciprocity: Mastery of healing asks for a
collaborative way of being: an ease of give and take. Mastery is about
confidence and an elegant spirit. Mastery is about being whole and
seeing ourselves as expansive. Mastery invites courage and asks us to
take action in the face of fearful thoughts.

From years of yoga,
mindfulness meditation and professional counseling of women, I have
learned these essential elements of being “masterful”. It is important
to note that a path toward mastery excludes efforts to be
perfect, fearless, famous, driven or demanding of ‘now’. Rather, the
following principles guide a true master:

Presence:
Be fully
present: grounded in who you are and open to others
Pay attention to
what has heart and meaning and follow it

Open to outcome, not
attached to a certain goal:
Be an open learner
Welcome your
teacher ~ it might be a mistake

Tell the truth, face a
truth:
Tell your truth, without blame or judgment
Define a
limiting belief: own it and move on

Attention on
intention:
Keep your eye on your vision
Have your intention clear
and then let it go

Surrender to your practice:
In yoga, “how
you do your mat is how you do your life”:
Stay on the mat
Nurture
a practice of mindfulness, welcoming each moment

Trade comfort
for challenge:
Take risks and challenge limits
Create confidence
and self respect

Insist on wellness and well-being:
Nourish
and nurture yourself
Be in nature everyday
Eat, drink and be merry
~ happiness is the way

What does the “Master’s Journey” look like
for you?
What is the journey asking of you right now?
With
openness, objectivity and observation, ask yourself tough questions and
then listen, deeply. Develop focus, resourcefulness and perspective.
Cultivate resilience and notice an ease in going “toward” life rather
than isolating.

By freeing the mind from preoccupations about the
past and worries about the future, we are able to live fully in the
present. As Dr. Dan Siegel states in his book, style="text-decoration: underline;">The Mindful Therapist, the
present is an ‘art form’ that “liberates the mind to relieve mental
suffering”. The present moment offers a state of tranquility and opens
to a life of meaning, purpose, compassion and connection.

Any
journey, as it has been said, starts with a single step. This is true
along the way as well. Going slowly will happen ~ stay on the path, take
the next step. Adopt new thinking and ask yourself: what is the gift in
this experience? Could this barrier be a doorway? Accept thoughts of
“what if” and remind yourself you are on a committed path. And above
all: dwell in gratitude. Be thankful for everything. Enjoy the
journey and may beauty and joy be your constant companions.

• True Well-being ~ Cultivating Your Own Best Life Does "wellness" and "well-being" sometimes sound like a too huge...
• On Retreat: Part Two "...it is difficult to accept there are no answers in...
• Present Moment Pose Whether you are an advanced student or a new beginner,...